i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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