White coat. Heels.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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