she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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