Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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