Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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