Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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