Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize