so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
as a side note pls kill me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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