There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
