I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
