i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
