i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
