please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize