The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
