Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
