garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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