they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
