Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
