The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
