if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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