Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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