Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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