I'm really into asian looking animals
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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