Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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