Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
