we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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