There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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