So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
