My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
