hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
