Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
