Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
