is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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