how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize