Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
