Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Couch. On fire.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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