Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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