...so i touched it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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