I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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