Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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