i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
