pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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