She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
