Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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