I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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