Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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