Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator

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  (586): But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn? (586): Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator http://tfl.nu/x5ch
  Replies (2) Good night (1218) Bad night (546)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?

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  (845): I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back? http://tfl.nu/r4ga
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (475)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes

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  (419): I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes http://tfl.nu/4b4j
  Replies (16) Good night (7857) Bad night (709)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.

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  (336): he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater. http://tfl.nu/8ycg
  Replies (3) Good night (3349) Bad night (951)
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  (845): View more from New York

  weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize

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  (845): weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize http://tfl.nu/jvbl
  Replies (19) Good night (7360) Bad night (1053)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?

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  (330): Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch? http://tfl.nu/ae8u
  Replies (6) Good night (3154) Bad night (959)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine

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  (337): Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine http://tfl.nu/2dy1
  Replies (4) Good night (1274) Bad night (1510)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.

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  (506): Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea. http://tfl.nu/9li0
  Replies (8) Good night (2640) Bad night (1351)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.

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  (316): You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath. http://tfl.nu/tem9
  Replies (2) Good night (1621) Bad night (785)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.

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  (770): Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay. http://tfl.nu/tpqf
  Replies (25) Good night (6006) Bad night (764)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Marry him. Now.

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  (570): He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight. (1-570): Marry him. Now. http://tfl.nu/5wky
  Replies (13) Good night (3944) Bad night (715)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.

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  (843): If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is. http://tfl.nu/wd98
  Replies (2) Good night (1091) Bad night (511)
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  (707): View more from California

  Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

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  (707): Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires. http://tfl.nu/p299
  Replies (8) Good night (1388) Bad night (533)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.

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  (248): IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD. http://tfl.nu/67ij
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (360)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.

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  (212): Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate. http://tfl.nu/w2uc
  Replies (1) Good night (127) Bad night (331)

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