we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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