Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked