Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across