we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.