I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.