we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something