I've blown a few things in my day
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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