She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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