His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
