so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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