my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
