whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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