We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
