you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
