Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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