I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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