You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
