Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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