His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
