My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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