Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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